Bob’s Rules

City Councilman and Comedian Bob Littlefield

Bob Littlefield has been on the Scottsdale City Council for ten years. Tuesday night when commenting on how insulted his colleagues were last week when I told them, “You suck,” Bob said that he didn’t find it particularly offensive because people have been saying things worse than that about him for a decade!

I guess you have to have a thick skin to keep your sense of humor as Bob has. After all, if you can’t laugh, you might cry.

Here are some tips Bob has accumulated over the years. Feel free to add your own via the comments.

“Bob’s Rules of Scottsdale Politics.”

  1. No matter how cynical you are it’s never enough.
  2. Things always look darkest just before they go totally black.
  3. The authorities do not have your best interests at heart.
  4. Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
  5. Just because you are paranoid does not mean that they are not really out to get you.
  6. If you’re not outraged you’re not paying attention.
  7. Even the seamy underside has a seamy underside.
  8. In Scottsdale, no bad idea ever really dies.

To those six, I add some of my personal favorites:

  1. If you turn around you’ll get stabbed in the face.
  2. The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.
  3. Reorganization is a wonderful method for creating the illusion of progress.
  4. Confidence in nonsense is a requirement for the creative process.
  5. When you’re going through hell… keep going!
  6. It’s always more fun when you don’t understand it.
  7. Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
  8. Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
  9. I’m not a cynic…I’m just prematurely disappointed with the future.
  10. Challengers don’t win elections, incumbents lose them.

OK, I’ll stop now…

You can see more of Bob every other Tuesday night at the City Hall Kiva in Downtown Scottsdale or at

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  1. To our many readers who don’t know John personally…..just know that he states his 9 items above with a twinkle in his eye. John is not actually the curmudgeon that this list might make him out to be!

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